Sometimes, The Jokes Just Write Themselves.

Tina Fey's most recent appearance was largely scipted by an unexpected source. No, not Al Franken. I'm talking about...

Sarah Palin:



~C~

McCain: Damn You, Media, And Your Pesky Microphones

Update: John McCain and Sarah Palin told Katie Couric that what Governor Palin said didn't count because she was talking to a voter in front of a pizza shop, "hollerin' out a question across a parking area," (to use Palin's words). Has she seen a Presidential press conference? That happens. The President stands there, and the reporters commence to "hollerin' out questions."

John McCain retracted Sarah Palin's remarks which (presumably inadvertently) agreed with Barack Obama's position on launching attacks on Al Qaeda targets which might be inside Pakistani territory. Palin made the remarks Saturday night on a campaign stop at a pizza-and-sandwich shop in South Philadelphia.

McCain has been riding Obama hard about his hypothetical breaching of Pakistani borders (which Obama has only described as a scenario for the capture of Osama bin Laden). During the debate on Friday, he told Obama, ""You don't say that out loud. If you have to do things, you have to do things, and you work with the Pakistani government."

Apparently, Governor Palin never got the memo.

Today, McCain, making an appearance on This Week, told George Stephanopolous, "She would not…she understands and has stated repeatedly that we're not going to do anything except in America's national security interest... In all due respect, people going around and… sticking a microphone while conversations are being held, and then all of a sudden that's—that's a person's position… This is a free country, but I don't think most Americans think that that's a definitve policy statement made by Governor Palin."

(Insert huge, protracted sigh of frustration here.)

Fancy that. Sarah Palin actually shows her face in a public place, surrounded by photographers and reporters assigned to cover her so she can get lots of photo-ops with the same middle class voters McCain ignored for 97 minutes during the debates, says something that embarrasses him, and it's the journalists' fault? And he says it with such conviction, too. "... sticking a microphone while conversations are being held..." This wasn't a high-level, top-secret summit meeting. She was buying a cheesesteak, for cripes' sake.

I guess I should just be relieved that John McCain is still willing to indulge us in the charade that he thinks this is a "free country." This is the Republican choice for president.... yet another Man Who Would Be King.

Will November never get here?

~C~

Hey, Senator! Get Your Butt to Mississippi and Do Your Freakin' Job!

Here's yet another example of the heavy-handed political cudgel that has been wielded by the Bush Administration, famous for trying to back its opponents into a political corner to manipulate its desired outcome. Except this time, the cudgel is in John McCain's hands. This American Prospect article by Ezra Klein details the day's events as both campaigns tackle the sticky question of bipartisan cooperation moving toward a solution, coupled with a full-blown national campaign.

At 8am this morning, Barack Obama called John McCain and asked that the two collaborate on a statement on the bailout. The call was not announced to the press. At 2:30pm, McCain called back and accepted. The initiative made sense: Without some unity from the two campaigns, some linkage of their fortunes, the two parties would be too paralyzed attempting to ratfuck each other to actually pass a bailout proposal. The statement, meant to remove the interests of the two presidential candidates, is forthcoming.

Later in the day, John McCain surprised the Obama campaign by going before the press and announcing a cessation of the campaign and a delay in the debate. There was no effort to plan a coordinated action with the other camp. Rather, he publicly demanded that Barack Obama follow suit...

...The contrast here is a clear one. Obama argued that the presidential candidates should recede into the background, agree on a common position and let Congress work without the impediment. It was a bipartisan stunt meant to construct a protected space for the congressional negotiations, where they could proceed without relative freedom from the presidential contest.

McCain loudly proclaimed the need to set aside politics, focused cameras by demanding a suspension of the debates, and promised that both candidates would fully insert themselves and their entourages and their media power and their electoral interests into the negotiations. The McCain campaign has politicized the bailout debate even as it volubly denounces politics. It is astonishingly reckless.

The last thing Capitol Hill needs to deal with right now are the ragged agendas and overblown hype of the campaign. John McCain and Barack Obama have no business going to Washington until it's time for them to vote on the completed legislation. The finance committees have their jobs to do, and the candidates have theirs. And one of John McCain's jobs this week is to get his butt to Mississippi and be presidential.

Quit trying to get out of the mid-term, Senator. Grab your No. 2 pencil and get to studying.

If you would like to see the debate go on as scheduled, please let the candidates know by signing this online petition.

~C~

I Shouldn't Be Impressed, But I Am

Do you realize that, for the first time in eight years, both candidates for President of the United States can pronounce the word "nuclear"?

It's a great day for this country, my friends. A great, great day.



(I promised myself I wouldn't cry.)

~C~

Why We Need A Bail-Out.

(Note: I changed the title of this post from "the Bail-Out" to "A Bail-Out," because I wanted to clarify that, while I think it's necessary for governmental intervention at this time in order to bolster our sagging financial institutions, I do NOT think we need this currently proposed bail-out which crowns Henry Paulson as King and the rest of us as serfs. Thanks for letting me clear that up.)

This article from the Technology-Commerce-Society blog, aptly titled Avoiding National Suicide Out of Schadenfreude, explains nicely why we need the bail-out. I'll let you read the article, as it's pretty well written and very informative (and way over my head on many of the specific Wall Street factoids). But the highlight for me was this analogy:

[Not bailing out Wall Street] is a bit like protesting against patching the hole in an ocean liner because doing so will save those who made the crucial navigational errors. Watching the navigator sink beneath the waves might be fun, but one's pleasure will be short and gurgly.

Amen. We can't afford another Great Depression, especially since many more Americans are hip-deep in unsecured credit card debt than were so in 1929. But it's important that Democrats understand that this time, they need to take it to the wire. No strings attached legislation that hands hundreds of billions of dollars to one guy with no accountability just isn't going to work for us, and our Congress needs to stand strong to retain its backbone, so we don't end up with the financial version of the Patriot Act.

~C~

The Most Reasonable Thing Anyone's Said In Days (UPDATED)

(See UPDATE below.)

Winner of the Cooler Heads Prevailing Award goes to Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont), who was quoted this morning as saying:

"We will do something this week -- but if we learned anything from right after 9/11, it's that the biggest mistake is to pass anything they ask for just because it's an emergency."

And who would know better than Leahy? He agreed to co-sponsor the original Patriot Act, then looked on in horror as he watched Republicans use it as a vessel for repeated Constitutional violations.

~C~

UPDATE: And this is why we're not giving them carte blanche. Tucked neatly into the folds of the bail-out legislation is this nifty little gem:

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

Oh, hell-to-the-no.

~C~

The Fundementals?

Is anyone else as tired as I am of hearing Republicans talking about how the American workers are the hardest working, the most innovative and dedicated, the most important resource that our economy has to offer?

If that's true, then why have Fortune 500 companies been allowed -- unchecked and no-holds-barred -- to ship American jobs to Pakistan, India and China by the score in the last fifteen years? If that's true then why do Republicans not only oppose an increase of the minimum wage, but oppose having a minimum wage altogether? And why are Republicans so adamant that homeowners not be included in the current plans for mass bail-out of flailing financial institutions?

I don't mind that Republicans feel the way they do about average American workers. It's one way to look at the entire picture. Not my way, so I vote Democratic. But what I really hate is the tendency of Republicans to pimpin' out the unwashed masses when they think it might do them some good.

If Republicans had cared about the American worker, they wouldn't have been so vehemently crushing our unions, lowering our wages, shipping off our jobs and generally killing our little souls, especially for the last eight years.

~C~

A Gift In Her Name

Nothing has felt quite as good as donating to Planned Parenthood (something I do regularly anyway) in the name of Sarah Palin. When you make what is known as an Honorary Donation to PP, they send a card to the honoree, letting them know that the donation has been made on their behalf.

I surely hope Palin's appointment and support of Police Chief Charles Fannon -- the sadistic idiot-boy who decided to save the citizens of Wasilla, Alaska, around $14,000 a year by billing rape victims and their insurance companies for the rape evidence collection kits, simply because they included emergency contraception -- at the very least results in an upsurge of revenue for PP to continue it's fight to keep contraception and safe, legal abortion available to women everywhere.

Please don't let the Sarah Palins of the world win. Our wombs are not up for grabs -- not by the United States, nor anyone else. Send a donation, no matter how small (there's an "Other" box for donations smaller than $25), in the name of Sarah Palin, using the address below for the Honoree section. It isn't the amount of the donation that counts -- it's the message you'll be sending Palin and McCain about what women (half the voting population) think of the archaic practice of reproductive slavery.

Name: Sarah Palin
Address: c/o McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street, 1st Fl.
Arlington, VA 22202
United States

~C~

P.S. I'm not sure which fact in the above-linked USA Today article is more disturbing -- the fact that Fannon and Wasilla were billing rape victims for evidence collection, or the fact that, during Palin's tenure as mayor, Wasilla (pop. 6,500) had the highest per-capita rape rate in the country.

Politics, Like Comedy, Is All In The ............... Timing.*

*I stole that joke from Droog.

The trouble with giving interviews and/or writing articles for publication in periodicals is that you just never know exactly when those pieces are likely to get published, because the publications are published... uh... well... periodically. Hence the name.

Take the September/October issue of Contingencies magazine. the trade rag for insurance companies, for example. In this issue, Senator John McCain (you might remember him from the Republican National Conventions) has published an article on his plan for how he'd handle the rising cost of medical insurance and health care in America.

By making it more like the banking industry.

Oh, sure. Go ahead and laugh. But I'm not kidding. The article, entitled Better Health Care At Lower Cost for Every American, extols the virtues of -- wait for it -- deregulation and free market practices.

Opening up the health insurance market to more vigorous nationwide competition, as we have done over the last decade in banking, would provide more choices of innovative products less burdened by the worst excesses of state-based regulation.

Yeah. Because giving huge, fiscally over-extended corporations with top-heavy salary structures unlimited reign with no governmental supervision or accountability has been so very effective in the area of capital investment and banking lately.

Quel faux pas, mon ami. Or, as they say in Spain -- a country neither located in Latin America nor in the Western Hemisphere -- "Un qué paso en falso, mi amigo."

Yeah, John McCain really wants to lead us down the right path. The garden one. Which files right into the road that's paved with good intentions. Let's see. Where does that road go again?

~C~

The Truth About Franklin Raines

In the latest saga of "I call it like I see it and if I don't see it I make it up*," McCain's latest campaign commercial links Obama to former Fannie Mae chairman Franklin Raines as one of Obama's "close economic advisors." The "source" quoted in the ad is from a profile article on Raines written by Anita Huslin of the Washinton Post.

But a fact-check on the ad reveals that the Post article never actually characterized Raines as "close economic advisor" to Obama. That characterization belongs wholly to the McCain campaign. Huslin actually reports that, according to her notes, she brought up the current presidential race and asked if Raines had been contacted by the Democratic nominee for advice. In reply, Raines' exact words were that he "took a couple of phone calls from Obama's campaign." When Huslin queried him on the content of the calls, Raines replied, according to Huslin "oh, general housing, economy issues."

Do two phone calls constitute a "close personal advisor?" And, given the economic advisors John McCain has aligned himself with lately, does he really want to go there?

~C~

*apologies to the late George Carlin.

A Simple Solution

All it takes to shore up Wall Street and get the US and European stock markets flying high again is for the Securities and Exchange Commission to temporarily ban short-selling (presumably so stock marauders can't sail in and do what these companies have been doing for years -- profiting off the misfortune of others), and then for the US Treasury to promise to pump nearly $1 trillion (that's "trillion" with a "tr") dollars into federal bailouts of badly managed, unregulated investment and banking corporations.

That's my money. And yours. So after taking our invested money (I refuse to look at my 401K balance or check the current value of my pension plan), and squandering it in speculations on derivatives and futures, artificially inflating home values and mortgage values, then selling them at a false profit to make their corporations look more prosperous on paper than in real life, the financial institutions that have behaved the most irresponsibly are in line for more of our money in the form of bail-outs.

We've been waiting for the Bush Administration to come up with solution to the problem that their crazy, whack-ass, "never-worked-and-never-will" policies of deregulation and unchecked free market economy created. This is it, people. In a nutshell, here's Washington's plan:

"We broke it. You fix it."

~C~

An Observation

Isn't it funny how, the minute real life interjects itself and shoves aside talk of hockey moms and lipstick on pit bulls or pigs or whatever animal is wearing lipstick this year, the very second the talk goes to real issues, like the economy or foreign relations, the polling numbers for the Democratic ticket goes up?

Those Republicans better come up with a diversion but QUICK, before America starts catching wise to the fact that, on their side, they've got an old guy whose mind seems to be slipping, and a woman who thinks she knows all about Russia because she can see its coast from an island near her house.

Stink bombs, anyone?

~C~

Do You Believe?

Please, make no mistake about this. When Republicans, including John McCain, tell us that what we are experiencing right now economically is a "crisis of confidence" (and you'll be hearing that expression over and over in the next few weeks), what they're telling us is that, by being afraid of what Alan Greenspan called a "once-in-a-century kind of event" in the collapse of Lehman and the Merrill-Lynch takeover by BofA, everything that's happened in the past few days is all our fault.

Eight years of an unchecked steamroller move to deregulation and the elimination of any government oversight whatsoever in the banking, mortgage lending and investment industries, the black hole of billions of dollars to fight a war we can't afford and many of us never ever wanted, the arrogant, greedy practices of CEOs and Fortune 500 corporations who gave their top executives golden parachutes and billion-dollar pay packages at the expense of shareholders, all while the Senate Commerce Committee (of which John McCain was chairman until January 2007) looked the other way -- none of these things are the cause of the staggering losses suffered on Wall Street in the past 72 hours. The economy is fundamentally sound. The policies were good ones (and, if they weren't, the Republicans never saw them, never heard of them, and don't know what we're talking about.)

If this were really an economic crisis, they might be to blame. But it's not. This is simply a "crisis of confidence," so it's clear who's to blame here. We are to blame.

If we had only continued to have faith in a stock market that, much as in the late 1920s, was built mostly on futures speculations and derivatives (in other words, the purchase of something that, technically, does not exist and therefore has no intrinsic value), if we had only continued to believe that our leaders knew what they were doing with our economy as we and our neighbors and our family members lost jobs and homes, if we had simply stood resolute in the face of astronomical fuel prices and out-of-control inflation, then the American economy would have remained "fundamentally strong." But we didn't. We lost faith. We had a "crisis of confidence." And because we stopped believing in the economy, it died.

The U.S. economy is now... officially... Tinkerbell.

~C~

Universal Healthcare: The Time Has Come

Someone who has worked, has not asked for welfare, has not been living off others, but whose financial future was trashed because of one accident. How I only wish his story were unique! Unfortunately, it's happening in this country every day, especially now that so many Americans are out of work through no fault of their own.

Access to affordable healthcare is not an option.

~C~

Push Calls and Swing States

The newest tactic of McCain's campaign? Calling Jewish voters in swing states and trying to link Barack Obama to Palestinian interests.

This article on the AP reports that several Jewish voters received so-called "push poll" calls that began with being asked if they were Jewish, if they were Orthodox or Reform, and how often they attended synagogue. Then they were asked if their voting choice would be influenced if they found out that Barack Obama was connected to Palestinian interests. One woman who objected to the tone and invasive nature of the questions was told by the pollster that, had she said she wasn't Jewish, she would have been disqualified from the poll. A Pennsylvania resident was asked a series of questions which implied that Obama was anti-Semitic and secretly in league with the pro-Palistinian terrorist group, Hamas.

If you can remember back as far as the year 2000 (which feels to me a little like it should be followed by the letters "B.C." these days), the most infamous incidence of "push polling" took place in the Carolinas during the Republican primary race, a tightly fought campaign between George W. Bush and John McCain. Voters in North and South Carolina were called and asked if they would be influenced in their voting if they learned that John McCain had fathered an illegitimate child with a black woman. The results of the push poll were devastating and McCain ended up losing in both states. I guess he figured it was such an effective technique against him, he should employ it against Obama. Why trifle with a winning strategy, after all?

When contacted for comment, John McCain's campaign, so quick to put Tucker Bounds in front of a microphone for every opportunity to justify Obama smears everywhere else, failed to return the AP's call.

Maybe they couldn't find an open phone line.

~C~

Bad Money After Bad (Updated)

At some point during the collapse in our fiscal infrastructure, can we finally, once and for all, admit that a completely unregulated banking industry and a totally free market economy, JUST. DOESN'T. WORK?

Never has. Never will.

Start praying, folks. The demise of Lehman Brothers and the further extension of BofA's monopoly of the banking industry by its consumption of Merrill Lynch is not -- I repeat, NOT -- just a blip on the economic radar. I have been screaming for weeks now that our economy is not "on the brink" of collapse, as some optimists have been cautiously whispering. It is, in fact, in the midst of collapse. And we are all in the midst of the midst. You might not think this effects you, but unless you have a few hundred thousand in negotiable bearer bonds stashed in an offshore account that the IRS doesn't know about, I would get concerned, and pretty damned quick.

Just because your personal deposits are insured for up to $100,000 doesn't mean this doesn't have an impact on you. The stock market is taking a dive, meaning your 401K or IRA isn't worth what it was last year, corporations are going to try and protect their bottom line by streamlining and laying off, and usually, they start with the people who make the most money.

This is where eight years of free market economy with no regulation or oversight gets us. So, please, please, in the name of all reason and sanity, can we please just admit that it doesn't work and move on, so we can start building the system back in another direction?

~C~

Update: President Bush let us know today that Washington economic policy makers would be concentrating on shoring up our financial system, and referred to this past weekend's events as -- and I quote -- "an adjustment."

Here's what McCain had to say abut the economy... If you don't have time to watch the clip, let me summarize... "Over here... over here... don't look over there... there's the dark, scary place... here we have lollipops and free martinis for everyone...."



When asked to comment about the Lynch/Lehman folds, former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, whom some (me, for example) would argue set interest rate precedents that have contributed to what's happening now, told George Stephanopolous that the crisis with the country's financial institutions was as dire as he had ever seen in his long career, calling it a "once in a century" event. Once in a century... every 100 years... And who would know better than Alan Greenspan?

So, Bush calls it "an adjustment," McCain thinks that, though things are scary now, our financial system remains "fundementally strong," and yet Alan Greenspan calls it the worst he's seen in his entire career and refers to it as a "once in a century" type of event. I guess that tells us exactly what we need to know about John McCain's loyalty, policy and alignment.

Update to the update: Even the London Times' Anatoly Kaletsky seems a little confused, but wrote this surprisingly cheerful "out of the ashes emerges the Phoenix" piece from across the Pond.

This Really Just Speaks For Itself...

... so I'll let it do just that.



Meanwhile, John McCain became the View women's bitch last Friday. Check out McCain's slant on the position of the Supreme Court regarding interpreting the Constitution the literal way our founding fathers intended. Whoopi Goldberg's statement, "I hope you don't mean I should go back to being a slave," wasn't hyperbolic. The most influential of the founding fathers (including its primary author, Thomas Jefferson) owned slaves, and his original intent was not to abolish slavery in the Constitution. He made that statement immediately after insisting that by using the words "lipstick" and "pig" in the same sentence, he was dissing McCain's running mate. "He chooses his words carefully and intentionally. He meant what he said. He shouldn't have said it." That being said, does that mean that John McCain wants to return America to a pre-Supreme Court interpretation of the Constitution regarding slavery? Or doesn't he choose his words carefully?

The women of The View did well, for the most part. Hasselbeck made noises like she was asking tough questions of McCain, and popped out with a characteristically tepid, "Er.. uh... what are your views on abortion?" Sherrie was out of her depth, knew it and kept her yap shut. Most of the talking was done by Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters. You know when Barbara Walters calls you out as a big fibber outright and in public, you've totally screwed up. She's nice to everybody to their face.

~C~

The Bush Doctrine

Update 9/13/08 2:00 am: In reviewing the Palin interview, James Carville and Torie Clarke were asked about the Bush Doctrine question. Torie Clarke's excuse for Palin's ignorance on the topic was pretty pallid and frightening: "If you asked 500 people in the White House the State Department and the Pentagon what the Bush Doctrine is, I'd bet half of them couldn't tell you what the Bush Doctrine is." Yeah, Tor... I've no freakin' doubt. But the fact is, that's why this Administration, State Department and military leadership is so very, very ill-thought of by Americans. Carville was quick to point out that, perhaps, since the Bush Doctrine has been the very crux of our foreign policy for, lo, these past six years, knowing what it is might be kind of essential for someone aspiring to the line of succession.

I have to take the opportunity to absorb the entire interview, since most of it came from the other side of the freakin' Looking Glass.

But here's a perfect example of why Sarah Palin is not only unfit to be Vice President of the United States of America, she flunks any credible exam as a high school history teacher.

The Bush Doctrine.

When asked by Charlie Gibson (who, for all my whining about him not being tough enough, did a bang up job for the most part*) about whether Palin supported The Bush Doctrine, the governor replied (in a somewhat sarcastic tone, as if being asked were an affront), "In what respect, Charlie?" When he answered her question by asking what she thought it was, she replied (this time, interrogatorily), "His world view?" What does she think this is, a civics quiz? Get a freakin' clue, lady!!! Do you think if McCain or Obama or Clinton or Biden were asked what the Bush Doctrine was, they'd guess at a haphazard answer like that? Please, someone send this woman back to Alaska so she won't miss a day's worth of moose-hunting. She's so out of her element here, it's appauling.

The Bush Doctrine, for those of you, who like Sarah Palin were walking across the Alaskan wilderness tundra in snow shoes during the first half of this decade, is the policy that the Bush White House concocted after September 11th, 2001, to justify going to war. Though it began as bits and pieces of Bush's speeches after the attacks regarding what we would do and how far we would go to get revenge, it wasn't put into print until over a year later, in September 2002, when the White HOuse published its National Security Strategy, codifying threats that Bush had made regarding hunting down the terrorists. One of the major points of that strategy was to state categorically that the US had the right to preemptively strike against an enemy it suspected might strike against us sometime in the future. It was the basis for Bush's argument to go to war in '03, and it continues to be the basis for staying in Iraq until the first snowfall in hell.

The fact that Sarah Palin looked at Charlie Gibson like he was making it up when she was asked, and then gave some puny, rhetorical little answer in response (delivered with tremedous arrogance and passion, though, which is always impressive, particularly when you're pretty sure the speaker hasn't a clue what their speaking about) is just further evidence that this woman is the biggest paper tiger since George Plimpton.

Psst. Sarah. The mooses called. They miss you. Go home.

~C~

*In case I didn't make myself clear, that was an official apology to Charlie Gibson for all the bad things I thought about him.

This Explains So Much

Wonder why you haven't seen Sarah Palin on any of the weekend political shows, or appearing anywhere on her own, without John McCain staunchly by her side, that frozen, frightening Cryptkeeper smile plastered on his face? Here's why:


This clip brings up a couple of questions that need answering.

One, if John McCain understands all those things about how to better the lives of American people, then why didn't he foster or support legislation to do it in the 29 years he was in the Senate. If John McCain understands the problems and needs of the American people and their work-a-day problems, why does he surround himself with lobbyists and people like Phil Gramm, who disregard those desperate conditions, or mock those needs as "whining."

The other thing this clip explains is why they need to make sure that Palin never goes off book, and precisely why being governor of Alaska isn't very good preparation for running an entire country. Despite what Palin says in this clip, mortgage lenders Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae were not taxpayer funded until last week, when the federal government took them over to keep them from collapsing. And what the lovely and vacuous Governor Palin doesn't mention is that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae might have fared better if the penchant by Republicans in Congress and the White House for the last eight years hadn't been to completely deregulate the banking industry. Where on Earth Republicans got the idea that major corporations and financial institutions were able to care for themselves without supervision is utterly beyond me. Honestly, it's like giving the minivan car keys to the three-year-old and pointing him toward the garage.

So, how did they let Palin make such a gaff, which was picked up by most wire services within minutes after she said it? Clearly, they're herding and grooming her carefully. Next month's debate with Biden will most certainly be, if nothing else, interesting. But I can't help feel that Palin is woefully outmatched. If not for her ability to get nasty right quick, I'd say it was almost a wash. But I have every faith that, when cornered, Sarah Palin is a dangerous and vicious opponent. And I also have faith in America's ability to be swayed by a good sound bite and a face the camera loves, so who knows?

Still, corner her Biden must. If Sarah Palin insists that the only difference between herself and a pit bull is lipstick, then Biden has to wipe off her L'Oreal and reveal that pit bull for the slathering, unpleasant beast she claims to be. I'll wager the real Sarah Palin is no where near as pretty as the mannequin who stands in for her at the podium.

~C~

Any Other Day

In light of a few e-mails I've received in the last twenty four hours, I'd like to clarify my position on honoring "9/11."

I won't be.

September 11th is as potent a holiday to me as December 7th. Did something historic happen on those dates in the past? Yes. Must we reimmerse ourselves in the sorrow and grief of both days every single year, simply because the calendar happens to land upon that particular day? I think not.

So, please, no more "Meet Me In The Stairwell" or "Angels in the Towers" or whatever decidedly inspirational 9/11 spam mails you have in the wings, waiting to send between now and tomorrow. To me, the inspiration of September 11th is that time marches on. Children grow, leaves fall and die and rebud every spring, the birds sing, the calendar flips to a new page. With all due respect to the survivors and the families and loved ones of the victims, you'll all have to beat that dead horse without me.

The calendar has flipped to a new page. And we're still here. That's what I plan to honor tomorrow.

~C~

And So It Begins (Again)

Montgomery County, Virginia (considered to be one of the major swing states in the presidential election), has decided to try and frighten potential college-aged voters away from voter registration tables by issuing the following statement:

“The Code of Virginia states that a student must declare a legal residence in order to register. A legal residence can be either a student’s permanent address from home or their current college residence. By making Montgomery County your permanent residence, you have declared your independence from your parents and can no longer be claimed as a dependent on their income tax filings — check with your tax professional. If you have a scholarship attached to your former residence, you could lose this funding. And, if you change your registration to Montgomery County, Virginia Code requires you to change your driver’s license and car registration to your present address within 30 days.”

Wow. So, basically, one false move and the average college-aged voter might be out of a scholarship, out of their homes and families and unable to drive a car. Or maybe not. It seems the hot and heavy wording of this directive isn't exactly accurate. But don't take my word for it.

Take the word of... well.... the Virginia State Board of Elections, the very same office that issued the above, on their website for college students, which answers the question "What is my legal residence?" as follows:

"What is my legal residence?

You are the one to determine and declare the city, county and state in which you claim your legal residence. This may be the residence where your family lives, or the city or county and state where your school is located. Consider the following questions to determine which to declare:

• Are you claimed as a dependent on your parents’ income tax return? If you are, then their address is probably your legal residence.
• Do you have a scholarship that would be affected if you changed your legal residence? Some scholarships require that the student be a resident of a particular town, city or state. Contact the provider of your scholarship to determine if a change in your legal residence will affect your scholarship.
• Would your health, automobile or other insurance coverage be affected by a change in your legal residence? If you are covered under your parents’ insurance policy, your protection could be affected by a change in your legal residence.
• Are you close to graduation and intend to live and work in the same community as your college after you graduate? If you do, then you may want to use your college address as your legal residence if you will not be affected by the issues listed above.
• Also consider that many students move frequently while in college and after graduation. You must update your address with the registrar each time you move to keep your voter registration valid, regardless of the address you use as your legal residence."

A tad more measured and informative, wouldn't you say? Well you might, and I certainly would, but it seems E. Randall Wertz, general registrar of elections, has a hard time discerning the difference. Gee, he informed the press when asked about this release, his office was only trying to counteract the random, willy-nilly registration of hundreds of college students around the state, without a thought as to detailing which address people should give as their home address and how doing so could be the end of Western Civilization as we know it. When asked to explain the rather intimidating and misleading directive issued by his very office, he explained it thusly:

“What’s happening is they’re going out across campus over here and just getting people to sign the registration forms left and right and not telling them issues to consider, or telling them the incorrect information... Before they make the decision to register with us, they need to check with the accountant who does the taxes. They need to check if they’re on their parents’ health insurance. By being at a separate permanent address, does that affect their insurance?”

(GASP!) Heaven's to Mergatroid, Petunia! Do you mean to tell me that there are multitudes of college students in Virginia who are being left to fend for themselves when it comes to picking a permanent address for the purposes of legal documents? Might they have to actually go on to the Registrar's website and scan for the secret answer to the question (so artfully hidden by the cleverly coded wording "What is my legal residence?") all on their own?

Let me clue Mr. Wertz in on something, since maybe he's a young-looking 180 years old and out of college since just before the Civil War. By the time today's college students have actually reached college (and I say this as a college student who is currently filling out YET ANOTHER application for a graduate program), they've filled out at least a dozen forms requiring a permanent address (along with full legal name, Social Security number, favorite TeleTubby and chewing gum flavor preference), most of the forms regarding their student loans, grants and scholarships. Why, for God's sake, the FAFSA alone is enough to give a crash course in what constitutes legal residency vs. physical residency. Discuss it with the accountant? Bitch, please. You discuss it the accountant, Mr. Wertz. The average person who has reached college is, unlike yourself, worldly enough to figure out that a Virginia Tech dorm room doesn't constitute his or her legal address. Because they live in the real world, and have real thoughts flowing through their fecund young minds. (They're mostly thoughts about keggers, spring break and "Girls Gone Wild" at the moment, but that's another blog post entirely, isn't it.)

I was going to request that we write or call Mr. Wertz' office to see if we couldn't help him to understand how seriously brain-damaged misguided he is. But when I went to his government webpage, I found this entry, dated August 27th, after the originally hostile statement was issued (italics and underline are mine).

"The Montgomery County Registrar’s office does not have a position on whether registering to vote in Montgomery County will have an effect on students’ benefits, such as health insurance, financial aid,scholarships, or taxes. Indeed, the Registrar’s Office is prohibited from offering any advice on these issues. Questions regarding the effect -- if any -- that registering to vote in Montgomery County will have on a student’s benefits should be directed to the entity administering those benefits."

Apparently, the lawyers got there before we did, so I guess we'll just let poor Mr. Wertz alone for the moment. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. Except for the part where he's an agent for the Devil. You remember that Devil, don't you? The one that we ran up against in 2000? And then again in 2004?

I'm not saying that all Republicans are evil. Some of best friends are Republicans, and conservative ones at that. I'm saying that the party machine is evil. The DNC might be insensitive, myopic and too erudite for its own good, but the RNC is just plain rotten to the core. We need to kick their wicked handmaidens to the curb on election day.

To steal a quote from the financial section of one of Virginia's leading newspapers, The Richmond Times-Dispatch, national unemployment may have to "get worse before it gets better." Join me, please, in raising the unemployment rate just a little bit more come November.

~C~

Where Have You People Been?

I've been online today, reading about the government taking over Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, and also about the auto industry's request that Washington grant them a $50 billion (that's billion, with a "b") low-interest bail-out loan. In return, Detroit dutifully promises to make more hybrids and high-mileage small cars. Isn't that sweet of them? (Wipes tear from eye.) Dammit, I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

In the comments sections of these posts, commenters are predicting that the US is headed for a major economic meltdown, and that our economy is due to collapse at any moment.

People, where the hell have you been for the past year and a half?

For the eighth straight month, this country has lost thousands of jobs to foreign outsourcing and collapsing businesses. The unemployment rate is higher (6.1%) than it's been in five years. Though the housing value dive has slowed, it still continues and will continue further as more and more people lose their homes and mortgage companies and banks are saddled with more and more REO properties. Gas is cheaper than it was a few months ago, but it's still hovering at around $3.70 per gallon here in L.A. The price of crude oil is dropping, which is expected to be reflected in per-gallon prices at the pump in a few months. The bad news -- because you knew there had to be some -- is that soaring inflation and rising health care costs will not only offset the savings, but will outreach them, bringing American families who are on the brink of disaster just one more step closer to ruin.

The economy, as we knew it during the Clinton years, has collapsed. Government economists don't want to use words like "recession" and "depression." But, honey pies, that's where we're at. People are out of their homes, out of their jobs, out of the economic brackets in record numbers.

How bad does it have to get before we roll over and admit we've got a problem?

IT'S A RECESSION, FOLKS! MAN UP AND FACE FACTS!

If we can't deal with that, then maybe we're every bit the whiners that the Republicans think we are.

~C~

Mean Girls

Don't you hate it when those mean, clique-y girls in school act all sweet and shit to your face, and then totally diss you behind your back?

Bitches.

~C~

In Case You Thought Things Have Changed

The GOP Convention has proved itself to be relatively unchanged, particularly when it comes to gerrymandering facts to its own twisted purpose. AP reporter Jim Kuhnhenn has done a fine job of amassing just a few of the statements over the past two days regarding VP pick Sarah Palin (some by Palin herself).

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform -- not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state -- by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right -- change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington -- throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

Oddly, I find this somewhat comforting (if infuriating), in a way. It just goes to show you that things don't change, people are relatively the same always, and no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence (or memory span) of the American people.

I will say that it has given me a hankering. I'm going to Disneyland today. I figure if I'm going to be spending time in Fantasyland, I might as well do the original.

~C~

Good Thing/Bad Thing #1

I'm trying to find balance in all things... my life... my politics... my finances... my art. To that end, I've decided to pick a person who has frustrated me in the past, and come up with one bad thing and one good thing that they've done or inspired.

This is not to say that there is only ONE good thing or ONE bad thing they've done or inspired. This series is about balance, so it's a one-to-one ratio.

Let's start with someone easy -- President Richard Milhous Nixon.

Bad thing: Bombed Cambodia after he said he wouldn't, then lied about it.

Good thing: Stopped the United States program to develop small pox and bubonic plague as virulent, drug-resistant biological weapons.

~C~

Bait and Switch, Maybe?

In my constant search for answers in the whole "picking Sarah Palin (with virtually no vetting whatsoever)," it occurs to me that she kind of makes the other two McCain VP prospects -- Mitt Romney and Joe Leiberman -- look good by comparison.

The other thing that occurs to me is that, if Palin stays on as VP candidate, the "I Love America"-fest is gonna get really interesting. I'm just picturing Palin standing at a podium across the stage from Joseph Biden in a VP debate, saying she loves America, when barely a dozen years ago, she belonged to a political party that advocating breaking Alaska away from it.

Such a circus... Was it always like this? As the ancient Chinese proverb goes, "May you live in interesting times." Screw that... I'm kinda likin' Ike right about now.

~C~

As If They Didn't Know... Oh, Wait... They Didn't Know.

Okay, picture this scenario, if you will.

It's a couple of weeks ago. (Or perhaps... last Friday (see update below)... who knows?) John McCain, his top campaign advisers, the lawyers, and the executive assistants (because we know they don't take their own notes, right?) sit down at a table with Governor Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, to discuss the possibility of naming Governor Palin as McCain's vice presidential running mate. Palin has no federal experience of any kind and she is virtually unheard of outside of inner conservative Republican circles.

During our hypothetical meeting, she proceeds to inform the McCain camp that, though is she is a strict "family values" kind of mom, her 17-year-old daughter is unwed and five months pregnant. Of course, little Bristol Palin will marry the baby's father (who is all of eighteen, and what a fabulous idea that is, eh?) sometime in the immediate future, before the birth of the baby. The Palins then go on to reveal that Palin was, until 1996, when she decided to run for public office, a member of a fringe Alaskan secessionist group seeking national independence for this country's forty-ninth state, that she is currently being investigated for exerting undue influence as governor with regard to the firing of the public safety commissioner after he refused to fire Palin's ex-brother-in-law, who was divorcing Palin's sister. Oh, and also, recently, Palin publically stated that she felt that Iraq was a "war for oil." Oh, and, one more thing... she used to be a fundraiser for indicted Alaskan senator Ted Stephens. And then there's that unfortunately drunk-driving arrest for Todd Palin back in 1991.

Then, picture John McCain and his delegation listening intently and greeting the above news with a hearty, "Hot diggity... we got ourselves a winner! Sign her up!!"

I know... I can't picture it either. Even when I squint really, really hard. So, though I wasn't present at any such meeting, hypothetical or otherwise, I would have to guess that a lot of this newly revealed information on Palin came as a bit of a surprise to Senator McCain. And it also fuels my opinion that McCain's people felt that, if they picked this Republican MILF, they could earn some points with the ragtag Clinton contingent that still cain't brang themselves to vote fer da cuhluhed boy. But it still makes me ask... why Palin in particular?

I have another scenario, equally as hypothetical, which might explain it. Sometime during the Democratic Convention, when it became obvious that, love 'em or hate 'em, Democrats this election year actually have a pulse, Republicans started to break a sweat a bit. One of them came up with the brilliant idea that, if they picked an attractive female VP, tons of former Clinton worshippers would automatically jump ship to the GOP (because one set of ovaries is pretty much just like another). Having little time for actual vetting, they began a frantic search. Why Palin? Maybe they figured that Alaska was so cold and dark, nothing of consequence or scandal really had time to bloom up there. I must admit that I myself was surprised upon hearing that Alaska was so chock-a-block full of Byzantine intrigue and subterfuge. I'm thinking those people are kind of interesting and worth getting to know. I may have to move there. The fact that men outnumber women up there by nearly a third has nothing to do with it.

In any case, it remains to be seen whether any of this will be enough to derail Palin's nomination, particularly since the Republican Convention was cancelled on account of a storm in someone else's backyard. (Amazing that they all care now. They didn't give a flying fandango three years ago last Saturday. The most post-Katrina concern I heard from the GOP was when Barbara Bush worried aloud that Katrina's displaced might decide to settle in Texas, and went on to say that, since many of them were underprivileged anyway, sleeping in cots in the Astrodome was "working out quite well for them"). I remember when Tom Eagleton had to step down as McGovern's running mate in '72 because it came out that he was diagnosed at one point in his life as having been clinically depressed (which used to be called "nervous exhaustion," back in the day). Clinically depressed. In the "Big Picture" scheme of things, "clinically depressed" is starting to look like a walk in the park, isn't it? I'm almost nostalgic for "clinically depressed."

Sighhh....

Well, I have to go write now. Seriously, let's keep our minds set on positive thoughts to the people of New Orleans, until Gustav runs completely out of gas and leaves those poor folks be.

Peace.

~C~

Update (2/3/08 - 5:31 pm) - Turns out the vetting was actually last Friday.... I was kidding....